I’m sitting in the dark down in my basement. I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I didn’t want it to be my imagination; it wasn’t. I looked around in the dim candlelight. I noticed a moth swirling about the flame, as I felt my mind swirling about with dizziness from my dad’s nicotine gum. I’ve recently taken to chewing it, despite the fleeting drawbacks.
I figured, “why not?” I’ve tried Lyrica which did nothing to help my Fibromyalgia pain. And upon trying Plaquenil, a prescription from U of MN rheumatology, it proved to cause some difficult side-effects. Of course it was supposed to help my Sjogren’s Disease too, but trying it for six months to see if it will work? I don’t know if I want that on my roster. Maybe I’ll just throw away the idea. I don’t know if I want to go back there. It’s sickening going to those mass waiting rooms, then telling doctors about your problems and how they seem to have such a limited understanding of your conditions.
The chiropractor has helped, but my progress has plateaued as it has the past few years solely with the Fibro.
And the dry eye? I tried contact lenses but the ones I had fitted hurt too much. Now my doc at Assoc. Eye Care (whom I followed from the U), is now proposing I go all the way to Chicago for another type of lens. I just find it hard to fathom how in an age of so many technological advances, something as simple (although very painful) as dry eye syndrome cannot be easily fixed, at least not in my unlucky case. I’ve been to Rochester’s Mayo Clinic, a clinic in TN, and countless others around my area.
I’m sitting in the dark. I’ve become in tune with it, accepting that things in life can fail. I make what I want of it. I’m making it.
© Bridget A. Brimer 2015
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